How to Connect with your Child: Going to Therapy.
When we connect with our children about something new, it is important to take a moment to pause and reflect on what our own feelings and stories are, regarding the topic. Before you talk to your child about going to see a play therapist, think about your own experiences and feelings about therapy. What feelings come up for you?
Why is this important? First of all, your child will pick up on your nonverbals and energy more than the words, so it’s important you feel comfortable and positive when talking about it. Second of all, you are your child’s primary grown-up. You are in this relationship with your child for the long haul and knowing how you feel about what is happening for them is crucial to your own self-awareness and development.
We can take some time in the intake session to discuss your own idea of what- therapy-is, and once you feel clear and comfortable talking about it, we will strategize around the language you might want to use or a short script you might want to say.
I often call it “special play time” and some families refer to me as a “feelings teacher.”
A sample script could be:
“I met a person named Sarahbean. She works with kids and loves playing with kids so much, she even has an office set up for playtime. She works with kids to help them feel the best they can. She knows how to play with kids when things are hard, and when kids have big feelings. I thought it would be amazing for you to have your own time to play with Sarahbean, because you’re worth it.”
Play Therapy is a gift. It’s not a punishment, it’s not because your child is broken, it’s not because anyone did anything wrong. It’s an opportunity for growth. All children deserve a play therapy experience. It provides a custom-tailored Social- Emotional education to learn about themselves, and who they are, and building trust with other people.
Getting ready for sessions:
Look at a picture of the therapist and of the office, so that you and your child can have a sense of mastery around what to expect.
It’s best for your child to wear play clothes and “dress for mess”
Ensure your child has a healthy snack prior to the session. Please do not send your child into the session with any food or drinks.
Offer your child to use the bathroom before the session, or at least wash hands.
A Couple Notes:
If your child feels scared about coming into the playroom initially, I invite you to join for the first session.
Consistency is key: if you find you’re not able to be on time consistently, let’s think together about a better logistical solution for you and your child.
Play Therapy is NOT a “test” or an “exam.” There are no right or wrong answers.
If your child refuses to come to sessions, please don’t force them. You can call me and we can strategize together.
If your child comes out of the session and brings art that they created, please use non-judgmental statements (i.e. instead of “That’s really beautiful!” you can say, “Oh! I see you created some art today!”)
Sometimes, your child may want you in the session with them. I welcome parents in the sessions when it is initiated by the child.
I will plan monthly or bi-weekly check-in sessions with you, separate from your child, to check in and have your own “playtime” to strategize about difficulties, offload stressful stories, and identify strengths and goals moving forward.
References:
● Liana Lowenstein, Bringing Your Child to Therapy: Tips for Parents https://www.lianalowenstein.com/articleBringingYourChildToTherapy.pdf
● Lisa Dion, Synergetic Play Therapy Podcast, Lessons From the Playroom, episode: “Helping Parents Explain to their Child Why They are Going to Play Therapy” https://synergeticplaytherapy.com/episode-10-helping-parents-explain/
